no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize