I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
Just cropdusted the office
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
Randomize
