he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
Randomize
