I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
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