it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
Randomize
