I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
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