(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh�
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
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