Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize
