If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
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