White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
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