At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
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