Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Randomize
