also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
Randomize
