you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
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