He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
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