im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
Do vagina's smell?
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
I pour the whiskey from now on
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
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