I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
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