Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
Randomize
