He disabled his match.com account in front of me
im drinking this country out of the recession.
he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
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