Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
Randomize
