We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
Randomize
