she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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