Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
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