They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
Randomize
