I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
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