I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
I've got a whole match.com system. Triple book. First dates always get the 6pm happy hour drinks slot. 8pm dinner goes to a girl where I think I can close the deal. 10pm slot goes to the sure thing in case of emergency, but 6 can always trump 8 and 8 always trumps 10. Just blame it on a dead iPhone battery.
That, my friend, is how I bang 50 new girls a year. Not luck at all. It's science and statistics.
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
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