brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
Randomize
