So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
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