i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
