oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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