Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
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