We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
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