hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
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