you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
Randomize
