I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
Randomize
