Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
Randomize
