And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
Randomize
