so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
Randomize
