So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
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