Where are you?
In a non slutty way
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
I think I just shit out all my problems.
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
Randomize
