NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
Randomize
