Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
Randomize
