Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
My breakfast consisted of a slimfast and an adderal. My fridge is like an insecurity buffet.
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
Randomize
