Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
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