pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
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