It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
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