been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
Randomize
