foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize
