What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
Randomize
