member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
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