He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
Randomize
