Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
Randomize
