shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
Randomize
