I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
Randomize
